I had starting dilating weeks before, just as I had with Kyndall. On July 4th the pain was intense and I felt so sick. I truly believed I was going to have me an Independence Day baby, but as we have come to learn with James as he has grown, he is not someone who enjoys sharing the spotlight and was not about to share his day with anyone!
I had a doctor's appt the morning of the 5th anyway, so I went in, he hooked me up, saw I was having contractions pretty regularly, and said "so are you ready to go have this baby?" "I said it's July, in Texas, I am almost 35 weeks pregnant, and I am as swollen as a flotation device, what do you think?" So we headed to the hospital about 9:30, at that time I was dilated to a 5. Since I know that after a 7, no epidural, that was first on my list of priorities. I know lots of women are able to soldier through labor and I admire it, but I felt having had Kylee with not so much as an aspirin, I had done my part for woman kind and knew all I needed to know about "natural childbirth"! Now they do tell us all the complications you can experience from the epidural, prior to giving it to you, but I would be willing to bet most women do not hear them, they are just looking for the place to sign. You see, when you are experiencing what feels like your entire body being turned inside out like a sock and someone is standing there holding magic in a syringe that will make all the suffering go away, the human brain has this uncanny ability to tune out "the why not's". However, I probably should have taken notice of that "possible blood pressure issues" statement. The second the epidural was put in, I felt extremely cold, my chest felt like it was collapsing, and monitors were going off like crazy. Needless to say, that was not supposed to happen! It more than just a small blood pressure drop, I was pretty much "bottoming out" as they call it. However, while that crisis was dealt with, the epidural also caused my labor to stop at 7. They waited several hours for anything to happen and then decided they were going to have to give me a Pitocin drip. Lucky me, they also stopped the epidural because it was creating numerous issues. Just what every woman in active labor wants to hear..."We are going to give you something that will make your labor increase quickly, your pain will not build, it will come more like a tidal wave, and while we're at it, we're going to take away your only ability to have any pain relief of any kind!" Well aren't you all fun little lollipops dipped in psychopathic tendencies...I thought on the inside...
So another drug free birth I incurred, but through all the complications, highly derogatory statements, and new four letter word combinations made at the hospital staff...with my inside voice..., James displaying the same stubbornness as his mother, graced us with presence. In a small twist of irony, he was not born on firecracker day, but had a head full of red hair! Being a preemie, he fully expected some issues so when they begin to explain what James was experiencing, I began to cry, and simply said in my most pleasant outside voice, "I have done this before, I know exactly what you are fixing to tell me, but here is what I am going to tell you. I am on my 4th child and have yet to leave the hospital with one. I do not in anyway plan on doing it again so do what you have to, that is fine, but I will not walk out of here without a baby in my hands". Three days later, James became the only one of my four kids to come home when I did.
In the last 12 years, his more than shown that while he might be the baby of this family, he is his very own person, has his very personality, and I can honestly say out of the three I have raised, has the most differences, in a good way. James also has his own struggles to, especially when it comes to his ability to focus on things he does not necessary find enjoying, but he also has a lot of gifts. James loves to make people laugh, to sing and make up his own songs, to make jokes, to be praised, to make others happy. He loves to be loved and to love others. His heart is as pure as any I have ever seen. James may not be particularly fond of his red hair, but I have always told him God filled the world with blonde, brown, and black headed people, but you don't see many red heads. That is because God only chose the special ones to be red headed. I should also point out, the stereotype about red headed people having a temper, I can tell you at the very least does apply to my red head. I don't think he would ever truly hurt anyone.
I have thoroughly enjoyed the last 12 years with him. This will be his last birthday before he becomes a teenager and starts the next chapter in his life story. My prayer for him is to make the most of his childhood and even teenage years. You have to be grown for so many years of our lives and only have a small window to be a child and have the ability to go through life with no real worries, no real responsibilities, no real expectations.
Please know how much we love you, how much you are adored, and how much we pray everyday you are able to get all from life you dream of. You might be my baby and while I know there is nothing baby like about you anymore, you will always be my last born and therefore hold a special place in my heart reserved only for you. I hope you have a very happy birthday and very blessed 12th year, for it is the last year in your childhood chapter!
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