Giving A Face To Organ Donation: Whitney's Story...

How many times, while getting your driver’s license, have you blindly checked that infamous box “be an organ donor” and if so, do you even know what it really means?” It goes without saying that there are 1000’s of issues that plague this world daily, sending constant fear into the hearts of people everywhere and I apologize for bringing light to one more, but knowledge is power. Today, I will be sharing a story and information on a subject that is near and dear to my heart because it greatly affects a family who I hold in high regard and love. I am also sharing this because this subject affects millions of families every year. I don’t have a huge a platform to speak from, but I do have a small one through my articles, my blog, and my readers and to not to, I feel would be irresponsible on my part. My hope is to provide many with knowledge about what organ donation is, some statistics surrounding it, and why it is so very important to me.

For those who are unsure of the overall process of organ donation or even what it really is, we will start with the actual definition and move on to the steps. Organ donation occurs when an organ or a part of an organ is given to another person for the purpose of transplantation and this can be done after the donor has passed away or while they are still living. In order for an organ to be considered viable, blood and oxygen must continuously flow through it until the time of recovery and immediate implantation. When speaking of a deceased donor, this will require that the donor passes away under circumstances resulting in irreparable neurological injury, usually from massive trauma to the brain such as aneurysm, stroke, or automobile accident. Once all human efforts have been made to save the person, tests will then be performed to confirm the absence of all brain or brain stem activity. If official brain death is declared, they will then begin to look into whether or not donation is a possibility. The state donor registry will be searched to determine if the patient has personally consented to donation, but if the potential donor is not found in the data base, the doctors will speak with his or her legally authorized representative (a spouse, relative, or close friend) and offer the opportunity to authorize the donation. If an official donation decision is established, the family is asked to provide a medical and social history so professionals can determine which organs would be suitable or transplant as well as making the decision on how to allocate all viable organs according to who is on the waiting list. Deceased donors have the possibility of providing kidneys, pancreas, liver, lungs, heart, and intestinal organs. For living donors the process is obviously a little different and I have provided a link at the bottom of a webpage on how to do that. Living donors have the potential to provide one of their kidneys or a portion of the liver, lung, intestine, or pancreas.

Although we clearly have made advances not only in the medical field, but in the area of donation, the problem of eye and tissue donation vastly exceeding the number of donors available, has not changed or advanced. Here are some current statistics in regards to organ donation.

• More than 1 million tissue transplants are done each year and the surgical need for tissue has been steadily rising.
• More than 120,000 men, women and children currently need lifesaving organ transplants and approximately 1,851 are Pediatric Patients*
• Every 10 minutes another name is added to the organ transplant waiting list.
• An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs.
• In 2012, there were 14,013 Organ Donors resulting in 28,052 organ transplants and more than 46,000 corneas were transplanted.
• 90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor.
• Despite continuing efforts at public education, misconceptions and inaccuracies about donation persist.

It also doesn’t appear to matter how many efforts are continually made towards public education, the misconceptions and inaccuracies about donation still persist. So I feel it is important to try and do away with some of the myths:

• Anyone can be a potential donor regardless of age, race, or medical history.
• All major religions in the United States support organ, eye and tissue donation and see it as the final act of love and generosity toward others.
• If you are sick or injured and admitted to the hospital, the number one priority is to save your life, NOT to get your organs.
• Organ, eye and tissue donation can only be considered after you are deceased.
• When you are on the waiting list for an organ, what really counts is the severity of your illness, time spent waiting, blood type, and other important medical information, NOT your financial status or celebrity status.
• An open casket funeral is possible for organ, eye and tissue donors.
• Through the entire donation process the body is treated with care, respect and dignity.
• There is no cost to the donor or their family for organ or tissue donation.

I truly feel that it is easy for us to provide ourselves with excuses as to why we don’t get more involved and/or choose not to, when all we have is numbers to look at, for where there is no face or person, there are no feelings or connection. The girl in the title of this article is a young lady as well as her mother, Vanessa, are two people I pray for every day.  Whitney has Cystic Fibrosis and has since the day she was born. Though she was not diagnosed until she was 5 months old, it made the uphill battle her mother and herself were about to face no less enormous.

Cystic fibrosis affects the body's ability to move salt and water in and out of cells. This defect causes the lungs and pancreas to secrete abnormally thick mucus that blocks passageways and prevents proper function. This disease affects approximately 30,000 children and young adults in the United States and 70,000 people worldwide. Most children with CF are diagnosed by age two and many symptoms of CF can be treated with drugs or nutritional supplements. Close attention to and prompt treatment of respiratory and digestive complications have dramatically increased the expected life span of a person with CF. When a great deal became known about this disease in the 50’s children rarely lived past age 6, but today about half of all people with CF live past age 37, with the median life span expected to increase as treatments are improved.

Whitney has sacrificed more in her short life than most people do in their entire lives. She missed out on a great deal of school while growing up due to her illness and overall missed out on being a normal kid. There were no sporting events, dances, sleep overs, parties, school clubs, and all the other things that children typically partake in to create memories throughout their academic career. While other children were getting to enjoy being young and having no worries, Whitney was left with no choice but to grew up pretty quickly as well as to worry about very adult problems. She spent most of her high school years homebound and had a teacher come to her house so she had some hopes of graduating high school. Whitney was able to graduate and was lucky enough to get to attend her senior prom, however most kids probably do not do so while pulling an oxygen tank.

Vanessa is Whitney’s mother and has been a single parent Whitney’s entire life. If you had to think about the most stressful or worrisome event in your child’s life, what would it be?  Imagine facing every new sunrise with no other option but to wonder how many more days your child was going to be with you? And to those people who actually do face that reality, but for a different reason, I by no means want to lessen their struggle or pain. Vanessa has supported Whitney as a single parent, always working, always being her cheerleader, always being there ready to help and assist with whatever she could. Countless doctors’ appointments, endless stays in the hospital, and an ocean of medication. Being a single parent is a hard enough job, without having the added daily strain of trying to keep your child alive.

Whitney was fortunate enough to receive a double lung transplant on March 12, 2011. However while she is extremely thankful for her gift, there is no denying the cost of a surgery of this magnitude. The out of pocket costs her mother endured for housing, food, and medicines, during and directly after the transplant, was over $20,000 dollars. There is also the uphill battle of insurance. Since Whitney was diagnosed at 5 months of age, health insurance would consider it a preexisting condition and therefore have always been reluctant to help if not refusing flat out. Whitney has been able to get Medicaid, but due to the extreme costs of maintenance and medication, they consistently work towards finding reasons to cut her benefits off. The medications run in excess of $50,000 dollars EVERY MONTH and luckily Medicaid does cover the bulk of the cost, but it is also a gamble every month waiting to hear what they will cover and what they won’t as well as whether or not they are cut her off. Regardless there is out of pocket expenses that are endured every month and when you are unable to work, how exactly do you come up with that money? Whitney is only 22 years old and she has had to give up the opportunity of going to college, hanging out with friends, having a social life, having a job/career, and children of her own is not a possibility either. In fact, most days she remains confined to a house because she can’t be around crowds of people for fear of catching a really terrible cold or even worse, the flu! How many people have to fear getting the flu because it could literally kill them?

So where does Whitney go from here? To the same place she has been going, to the church to pray. The doctors say that transplanted lungs usually last around 10 years and of course Whitney and her mother are hoping she will not only be in that group, but that she will have a lifetime. The future will also hold a need for a kidney transplant due to the anti-rejection medicine she is required to take every day and her live is damaged due to her CF, which while common, will also require a liver transplant as well.

The plain and simple truth is Whitney and all others suffering from the need of an organ deserve a life and opportunity to have something more than doctors, hospitals, surgeries, and endless medication. She deserves a fun, she deserves love, she deserves memories, and more than anything, she deserves help which she is in great need of. The tremendous cost of her medical treatment has forced her mother to sell almost everything she owns and Whitney has been forced to move to another state where she could get better medical care. Sadly she had to do so without her mother.
As I stated in the beginning, I don’t have a large platform, but I do have one and this beautiful girl needs some kindness. The family has hooked up with a web-organization that allows people to start fundraisers in the name of whatever cause they are fighting for. How it works is you go the link provided below for “Whit’s Love”, you donate $20, and you not only get a t-shirt in return, you get to help save a life and after so many t-shirts are sold, the organization will donate additional sums of money to help Whitney!!! That’s it, that’s all you have to do. Some of us spend more than $20 in a week on coffee and this will be used to provide life-saving medication for an incredibly strong, remarkable girl who never complains, never says an ill word about anyone or anything, never demonstrates anything but appreciation for the things and people around her. In return she is only asking for one thing…a chance to LIVE!!! Please help give her that!

https://www.booster.com/whitslove

If you would like additional information on how to become a donor and/or organ donation, please visit:
http://organdonor.gov/index.html
http://www.unos.org/


“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

 

 

Preemie Babies: Tiny Treasures With Big Battles

For those who do not already know, November is "National Prematurity Awareness Month" and it is a subject very close to my heart for 3 out of my 4 children were born prematurely and one of them, my oldest daughter, did in fact pass away. Each year in the United States, nearly 500,000 babies are born preterm which is an average of 1 out of every 8 infants (globally it is estimated to be about 15 million). While preemie babies account for only a small percentage of overall births (11-13%), they account for a very high number of total infant deaths which has been estimated to be as high as 35%. Premature birth is also the leading cause of long-term neurological disabilities in children and each year the estimated cost in the United States reaches beyond $25 billion dollars! My purpose for this article is to not only bring awareness to this issue, but also help provide education on ways in which hopeful mothers can dramatically decrease their risks and the risks to their newborn(s).

A baby is classified as being premature if they are born any time prior to 37 weeks. Even though a few weeks may not seem like a tremendously long time when compared to the 40 week total, but there is still a great deal of crucial final development that occurs in certain organ systems such as the brain, lungs, and liver. Some of these babies are required to receive intense special care and can spend weeks/months in a neonatal intensive care unit. The earlier a child is born, the more likely they are to have severe health problems such as intellectual disabilities, Cerebral Palsy, breathing/respiratory problems, visual problems including retinopathy of prematurity, hearing loss, and feeding and digestive problems.

In 2011, the national preterm birth rate was 11.7% which was a decline for the 5th straight year in a row in the U.S. The March of Dimes is an organization devoted to fighting this global issue and has established a goal of lowering the national preterm birth rate to 9.6% by the year 2020. This is because while a decrease is always progress in the right directions, the U.S. is still far behind other countries ranking 131 out of 184. Obviously there are times that a woman can do everything right during pregnancy and things can still. For example, one of the largest risk factors doctors look at is if the woman has had a previous preterm birth. In those cases, they will take extra precautions to help ensure the pregnancy can get to or as close to full term as possible. Another risk factor with an unknown original is for African American woman. For some reason, they are about 50% more likely to give birth prematurely. There are of course risk factors that we are aware of that woman can  avoid or at least be very cautious of such as carrying multiples, existing problems with the uterus or cervix, chronic health problems in the mother, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and clotting disorders, acquiring certain infections during pregnancy, and of course cigarette smoking, alcohol use, and/or illicit drug use during pregnancy.

One group that I want to address due to the automatic increases they give themselves and their child by mere age alone is teenagers under the age of 18. The rate at which teens are having babies in the U.S. has steadily rose until 2007 and at that point, has luckily began to show a slow, but steady decrease. As a matter of fact, in 2012, the teenage pregnancy rate in the U.S. reached an all-time low of about 83 births for every 1000 for women age 15-29 which is the lowest since the 1940's, but we still cannot afford to ignore the fact that when teenagers decide to become parents, they are creating numerous obstacles for themselves, their future, and their child. We also cannot ignore how substantial their risk is for having a premature birth and in turn further increasing their overall burden. Not to mention that 1 out of every 4 teen girls who have a baby before the age of 18, will have a second child within 2 years.

Teenagers tend to live an unhealthy lifestyle for the most part just due to lack of education and/or lack of good choices. One would like to believe that when a baby is introduced into the picture, it would increase the likelihood they would change their habits, but most often this is not the case. Many young people develop habits of eating unhealthy foods, smoking, drinking alcohol, and using illegal/prescription drugs. They don't understand the value of adequate sleep, a balanced diet, exercise, and drinking plenty of water before, during, and after pregnancy. Clearly another major issue is lack of prenatal care received either due to not having access or simply not seeking it out because they don't feel it is necessary. Teen girls are also notorious for hiding their pregnancies or simply don't know they are pregnant until late in their pregnancy which again leads to issues with lack of prenatal care, poor nutrition, and inability to take the proper vitamins. All of these things create a high risk environment for the baby to not only be premature, but also have serious health risk that can last into adolescents if not beyond.

Another huge risk for teens is STD's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Again, due to lack of education and lack of good choices, more than 9 million young people (age 15-24) are infected with an STD every year. A mother giving birth while having an untreated STD, again will increase the risk of creating healthy issues for their child as well as possibly damaging their own health. For example, Chlamydia can cause sterility in the infected individual as well as eye infections and pneumonia in a newborn, Syphilis can cause blindness, maternal death, and infant death and HIV can be passed to a newborn during pregnancy. However, treatment during pregnancy greatly reduces the chances of an infected mother passing HIV on to her baby.

Due to the overwhelming struggles that teenagers can create for themselves and their child because of age, choices, and/or lifestyle, it is naturally recommended and strongly urged that women delay childbearing until their early 20's. However, for any woman that becomes pregnant, regardless of age, there are certain precautions and choices they can take part in to help safeguard themselves and their baby. Most importantly is to ensure they eat healthy foods, stay at a healthy weight themselves, get plenty of sleep, avoid standing for long periods of time as well as heavy lifting, stop taking any illegal drugs, drinking, and smoking, and of course avoid as much stress as possible. Pregnant women need to ensure they take a multivitamin containing folic acid every day to reduce the risk of having a baby with birth defects of the brain and spinal cord. All expectant mothers need to seek out prenatal care early on and continue it throughout the birth of their baby.

My preemie babies are now 14 and 12 and I thank God every day that they grew up with mild issues compared to most. While my oldest was not born prematurely, he did have an extremely difficult labor causing him to get a major infection and in turn stay in the hospital for a week. I tried as hard as possible to eat the right foods, I exercised before and during my pregnancy, and didn't smoke, do drugs, or drink alcohol. However, even trying to do everything right, for some reason it seemed that delivering babies without complication or carrying them full term was not something my body could handle. While we did lose our sweet Kylee and miss her deeply every day, I am thankful that my situation allows me to help educate others on this issue.

Every woman and man who is expecting a child always wants to assume that everything will go wonderfully, there will be no complications, and God forbid, that no hard decisions will have to be made. Unfortunately that is not our reality because as I stated, even in the best circumstances, things can go wrong, things do go wrong, but hat doesn't mean every precaution can't be taken to increase the chances of having a healthy, happy baby.

For more information about premature births and the precautions you can take, you can visit the March of Dimes website. Also November 17th is "World Prematurity Day" and everyone is encouraged to wear purple in honor of Tiny Treasures everywhere that we have lost, ones currently fighting, and the ones who will be fighting in the future!!!

God's Opinion Of Who I Am...

It has most definitely been quite some time since I have had an entry and there has been many reasons for that, although none intentional. It has simply been a byproduct of the fact that my life has literally been months of falling down the rabbit hole, so to speak. I have been consumed with mostly work, some school, and sadly some family and personal issues. As much as I would love to believe there are people who check my blog frequently and in turn have noticed my dry spell, possibly even wondered what has been going on, I am pretty sure that has not been the case. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who do read my postings and some even find them beneficial, but I also know people have lives of their own making the overall likelihood pretty low. I would also be lying if I said, that I am not aware there are people out there who read my blog while holding nothing but malicious intent. Whose sole purpose is to tear it and/or me apart, letting me know I am a liar, and, more than anything, that they disapprove of me and what I have to say. Honestly, it's really okay. I wish other people would develop some understanding for the fact that there is no reality, only perception and while they are entitled to their opinion, so am I. I have always found it extremely interesting how a person can tell another that their memory or perception is wrong, especially when they were not even there, but that too is their right, I suppose. None of it changes the fact that the things I write are based upon my experiences, my perceptions, my memories, and if others are not okay with any of it, I have said many times, they do not have to read one word I put down. I also try to remember that at the end of the day if you have no enemies, then you have never really stood for anything in your life, right?

Since late June, I have been faced with numerous challenges at work, in my personal life, and other issues medically speaking. In regards to the family turmoil, nothing will be gained by discussing or addressing it in anyway. Certain relationships were questionable beforehand and things have been said/done during the last several months that, to put it bluntly, have hurt me greatly and have only further weakened, if not completely destroyed those bonds. However, there are some things in life that we may not want to accept, but have no choice because no amount of words, worry, or praying will ever change the past or even the enviable.  The nature of a thing is what it is unless it wants to change.

The medical issues are also something that I will also not be going into detail about. They are multiplying, they are intensifying, and at this time, there is a lot of uncertainty on not only how to control them daily, but what the long term outlook will be. We also know that one or more surgeries is in my future. I apologize for the vagueness, but when you have typically gotten responses of being called a liar, a faker, a hypochondriac, someone who uses illness to her advantage, have received complete disregard and/or lack of concern all together, as well as many other negative reactions, you tend to just keep things to yourself. Those who need to and/or truly wanted to know, have been made aware and that is enough for me. However I do want to focus on one area that deserves it. Bradley has always been someone I have thought was wonderful, but in the last several months, he has convinced me even more (if that was possible) that he must truly be touched by God himself. I don't know what I would do without his help, care, love, concern, patience, and generosity. He is able to display qualities that people typically don't possess and are unable to give to others anymore unless there is a benefit for them, family or otherwise.

The challenges at work have been pretty much even across the board with residents, coworkers, program policies, and my overall job duties. The challenge of having days that basically go from 5:45am till anywhere between 12am and 1am and those hours are consumed with work, school, and family, but definitely mostly work. There has been zero free time for myself or my family in months. Working extremely long days, sometimes till 8 or 9 (if not later) in the evening, did become so difficult and so great, that I had really begun to question not only what I am currently doing as a profession, but whether or not it is something I should continue to do. 

I think at one time or another anyone in a professional setting who begins to work a great deal of hours for weeks/months at time, has to ask themselves "am I doing tasks that are actually under my job duties or am doing someone else's job?”…”is what I am doing important or is it something that the world could live without?” I also think if you find yourself answering yes to both of those questions, which I have, you have to then ask yourself if this is something you can live with or is it time to move on?

I have always been a person of faith and I have always been a person that reads her bible, but in the last several months, I have definitely begun to read it more often. With all the challenges I have been facing, my faith has greatly helped me to find some balance and some peace in all the chaos. There has even been days I have begged God to just give me a sign, any sign that I was on the right track…and he delivered!

It is my own personal belief that there are times in life when God will directly interfere with your choices because he has a different plan, feels you are doing everything you can to not listen, and therefore he is going to make sure you hear, you know, like any good parent would! However, this will only happen a few times and it's our job to know when he is speaking to us. I have been finding more and more scriptures that make me feel as though God is talking directly to me, moments on T.V. when I have been seeing things turn up, and I kid you not, witnessing God's direct words in Dove Chocolates and fortune cookies! When that starts to happen, guess what, it is time to listen!

One of the things I found recently that helped tremendously in being able to take a deep breath and start over in regards to work, is actually a prayer that I found a place most would never expect. I was watching TV and it was during an interview with a rapper, DMX to be exact. He began discussing the prayers he puts at the ends of his albums so I looked them up. This one was so powerful and was exactly one of those things that I needed to hear and needed to feel. I will also say that I did tweak it a bit because his language is not always appropriate and also because his life’s work/passion is different than mine, but all in all, I felt the message was the same…..

Lord Jesus it is you, who wakes me up every day

And I am forever grateful for your love...this is why I pray

You provide me with the chance

To reach the hearts of so many,
To do what others no longer can
And influence so many children

I can't take all the credit

For the love they get
Much of it comes through you Lord
I'm just the one that's giving it

There are so many days

When it all becomes too much
People who only take with entitled attitudes
Never any appreciation or slightest gratitude

They are the reason I take time out and pray,

Asking that you be my crutch
For Lord I am not perfect by a long shot
And this I confess to you daily

But I do work harder each day,

While hoping you hear my pleas
Looking deep into my soul
Realizing that which others refuse to see

I know you will never fail me

Helping to continue achieve my goals
Then what's in my mind and heart,
To others, will begin to show

When the time comes that I get going,

I'm not looking back for NOTHING
For I will know where I'm headed,
And have been long tired of the suffering

I stand before you now,

A badly weakened version
Still of your reflection
Begging for direction,
For my soul needs resurrection

I try to use my gifts and talents for good,

And not to worship false Gods such as money, material items
Even though there are times I question your judgment
I always want to choose, act, and speak through you
Because all you ask for in return is gratitude

I will continue spending my life with devotion
And influencing the lives of your children
Using the gifts you have bestowed
Seeking clarity when uncertainty unfolds

I will bear only one regret while going forth in all I feel I must do,

Is that I will only have this one life to offer you, instead of two"
...Amen

The following are scriptures that I found recently that again, made me feel as though God was speaking directly to me and trying to help address the struggles I was facing with specific people in my life. I feel there is great deal of individuals in this world, some I have interacted with directly, some I have just been aware of, that protest their faith in the Lord, that want others to believe they have a faith based system, yet their actions do not support in anyway what the word of God or what he actually represents. Are any of us perfect, absolutely not, but there is a level of expectation when you are a person who professes faith and believe in his word and his teachings. There is an expectation of following, an expectation of loyalty, an expectation of effort, and most of all an expectation of behavior that is not blatantly hypocritical and defiant. ESPECIALLY when you are a person whom he has blessed greatly and abundantly…”for whom much is given much is expected”…that is his word and his law. However, it is very clear that there are people out there who believe there is nothing wrong with saying "oh yes, I believe in God and I have faith” and yet nothing they do in their everyday actions supports that and actually often times, completely contradicts it. True sacrifice is not sacrifice if you do not lose something while at the same time, gain nothing!

"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister goes without clothes and food daily? If one of you says to them, “Go in peace, keep warm and well fed,” yet does nothing to help with the physical needs of their brother or sister, what good is that? In the same way, faith by itself, when it is not accompanied by ACTION, is dead”…But someone will say, “You have faith, I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds and I will show you my faith BY my deeds".

“Therefore you have no excuse, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things
“These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires. They are loud-mouthed boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, and unfit for any good work”

As I stated, true sacrifice is not done if you do not lose something while gaining nothing. So good deeds or deeds in the name of faith are not so when they are also done for recognition or acknowledgment from others.  It is also not sacrifice to write a check or read off your credit card number over the phone and it is not a sacrifice to share a link or a post on Facebook or forward an email. That is helping, it is not sacrafice. However, in regards to helping, I am also curious as to why we are so picky about who we will and will not help? Why only pick the organizations or groups or individuals in which there is already an affiliation? Why are we unable to step outside our comfort zone and bring awareness or assistance to something other than what we know already and/or what we feel will bring us the most acknowledgment?

Anyone who knows me, knows what a fan I am of quotes and during the last several months I have been bombarded (for lack of a better word) with input from outside forces in words of extreme negativity and sometimes blatant cruelty. Words that tore me to my soul because they attempted to call into question who I am as a mother, as a friend, as a wife, as a daughter, as a sister, pretty much as a human being. This has all caused me to do a lot of soul searching, wondering a great deal on things such as where I belong in this world, if I am even wanted and if so, by who, if what I am doing even matters, and if not, why continue doing it. I came upon this quote and for lack of sounding unbelievably cliché, it was one of those moments that felt like the heavens opened, rays of light started coming down, and the angels were singing. Once I read this quote, I felt this almost instant relief in myself, who I am, and what I have been doing more than half of my years on this planet. I cannot even begin to state how much this came at just the right time…

“It is NOT the critic who counts defeats nor is it the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is ACTUALLY in the arena! The man whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again. For there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds? Who knows great enthusiasm and great devotion? Who spends himself entirely for a worthy cause? Who at best knows that in the end there may be triumph of high achievement, but also knows at worst he fails yet if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly and that place shall NEVER be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat!!!"

I have also said numerous times in my life and will continue to say, that I am in no way a perfect person and I fail at the very least, at one thing every day, but usually more. However, you know something else? I am in the arena, every day!!! I am in there fighting, for myself, for my family, and for the children and families of hundreds more! My degrees and my education are my own because I fought for tooth and nail for every one of them. The awards of academic achievement I have are my own because I earned them. I stand toe to toe and nose to nose, every day with ugly, with disrespectful, with distasteful, with dishonorable, and sometimes with dangerous. I give a voice to children who do not have one of their own. I advocate aggressively day in and day out for them because I feel they deserve better than what we have given them. I have devoted over 20 years of my life to other people's children and will continue to do until I take my last breath. I work every day not only holding parents accountable for the role they decided to take, but also to empower and educate them because when you know better, you do better. I continue helping, educating, and counseling long after children are off my caseload with the parents and the kids. My job doesn't stop on the day of release and it sure as hell doesn't stop at 5:00p.m. or Friday afternoon. I have earned respect and admiration from others because of the hours upon hours I have spent training, educating myself, researching, and on the front lines. Not to mention when I have something to say, it is actually backed up by education and experience as opposed to being the regurgitated words of someone else. I have a level of intelligence that I have nearly killed myself to earn and I WILL NOT apologize for being bright, articulate, and knowledgeable as well as having the desire to share my life to help others nor will I apologize for truly wanting to change the world.

You know what I am not doing? I have not jumped onto the coat tails of another person pretending their sacrafices are mine as well. I am not basking in the light of someone else’s achievements. I am not married to or genetically related to the glory of another person's victory trying to convince the world that I am entitled to the same recognition and credit by mere default or association. I am not sitting behind a desk or on my couch pointing my finger of judgement at others, telling them how wrong they are and/or not good enough when I have yet to spend a single second of my life initiating a battle of any kind for any weaker person. I am not standing beside those who have actually worked, slaved, and endured with my chest puffed out trying to give others the illusion that I too struggled side by side in the trenches, while knowing all along, I was simply hiding behind the finish line, avoiding the war, never sacraficing anything, waiting for my right moment to jump out, take up with the crowd, and enjoy a place on platform during awards time! To put it bluntly, I am not fraud!

What I have FOUND at the end of my journey is people in my life who love me for me and would continue to do so even if I had nothing to give them. People who believe I am worthy of love and do not stand in judgment of me with every breath I take, every word I say, or every move I make.  People who find my intelligent, remarkable, giving, spiritual, and pure. People who are not constantly forcing me to justify myself or my actions because their only goal is to find something ugly in everything I do. The most important part is that those people actually KNOW me and regardless of what their opinion is, they would be entitled to it because they have taken the time to earn it by learning who I am as a human being as opposed to assuming it or hearing it from a 3rd party.

What I have LEARNED at the end of my journey is that I am no longer willing to accept or tolerate those that are not productive to myself, my husband, my children, or my life in general...Those that are not willing to treat me with decency and kindness...Those are not willing to accept that I am my own person who will not ever be nor want to be someone else and I am okay with that. I have learned that there is no reality, only perception and just because people don’t agree with my perception doesn’t make it any less valid, any less important, or that it has any less right to be heard. I have learned that nothing ever heels when you keep it covered it and I am not keeping anything covered up anymore to keep people happy, to keep the peace, or to keep them from being ugly to me!

What I know is that there is only one opinion of myself and my actions that I will any longer concern myself with or try to live up to...