Tiny to Teenager...Too Fast

Thirteen years ago today I was very surprised when I went into labor six weeks early, but if I was to be perfectly honest, not too surprised because that train had already started itself in motion weeks before. I guess I was just hoping she could have held on a little longer, but as she has proven in each day of her life, she has the patience of her mother and that is none! So early she came and tiny she was. Now she was not as tiny as preemie's can get mind you because I have seen some pretty small ones. She was just over five pounds, but because she was not able to eat she did lose several ounces and we all know on a baby who is already small, every ounce counts. It wasn't so much her size that was an issue, it was the fact that her lungs were caught right in the middle of their development and any doctor will tell you, if a baby has to be born early, it's always best to catch them before or after, but never in the middle. So the second she was born, she was taken to neonatal.

A normal newborn will take 40-60 breaths per minute and their heart will beat 120-160 times a minute. This little girl was taking 80-90 breaths a minute and her heart was beating 180-190 times. Clearly this presents issues like her heart rupturing because it was working so hard, she could damage her under developed lungs because they were working so hard, and of course there was the fact that she couldn't eat. Since she was breathing so fast, they could not give her liquids for fear it would go down the wrong pipe and she would drown herself. A situation such as this would be scary for just about any person, but for me it was even more so because 18 months before that, I had lost my first daughter who was also born early and had complications. Watching that tiny creature in that incubator I made a deal with God. I told him that I accepted it the first time, but this time I would not be able to handle it or make it through and this child needed his help because if she didn't make it we would no longer be on speaking terms.

Well, here we are 13 years later and that beautiful, tiny creature is just shy of being taller than me. She loves to play soccer, loves school, and is as smart as the day is long. God kept his end of the deal and has watched over her everyday and I know that because she is unbelievably healthy. A little clumsy, but very healthy...lol...

She is one of four, but one of the three I have in this life and my only girl. She is in EVERY WAY her mother's daughter, good, bad, or indifferent. We have butted heads many times and I am sure we will many more, but we have also laughed together, cried together, and made some great memories together. She is truly one of kind and I would not trade her for all the wealth or fame in the world. That child is Kyndall Jeanyce and today, she is 13, a teenager. The next rung on the ladder before becoming an adult. The day she has waited for for many years because she knows it means she now gets a cell phone and can go to PG-13 movies by herself, but a day I am not any where near ready for.

However, as parents, are we ever? Do we ever become really ready for the next big step? Of course not, but we do have to let go and watch them do it. Life is the only teacher that gives you the test first and lesson later, but we parents need to accept that life IS NOT a success only journey. There will be fails, there will be mistakes, and there will be "uh oh"  moments. Let them have them. I like to think of parenting as sort of a bowling lane. When they are little you give them the bumper pads and the cheater rail so they always stay on the straight way, but as they get older, you have to start removing those things and let them land in the gutter every once in a while because if you don't, they will never figure out how to stay on the straight way with out cheating or shortcuts!

In closing, I just want to wish my lovely daughter a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I look forward to many, many  more!!! Just know that Bradley, Jesse, James, and I will always be your biggest cheerleaders!